Thanksgiving, a day in which....
Every person has a different tradition for this Holiday. This year, some will pig out, some may toss the pigskin, some will take this as an opportune time to endorse pig rights by cooking a Tofurky, some will watch a favorite Pig in felt form (the Muppets are back!)
For a day that brings together family and friends, it can also bring stress, anger, and awkwardness. All the perfect ingredients for a feature film of the comedic fare. Oddly, Thanksgiving films have quite the limited inventory compared to a certain December occasion. The guy in the red suit is much more appealing than a doomed turkey.
Since your therapist will probably be unavailable on November 24th, I have compiled a list of films that may serve as a calming dish for your turkey festivities. Choose the dish that best fits your palate.
For the Son in Law... Remember, the 3 R's
The football game is over. You are on the couch with your father in law. It is awkward.
Rudy - It's Pretty Woman for dudes. A heartwarming story with emotional sentiment. Bro sniffles accepted.
Rocky - After a day of turkey, the Italian Stallion can serve up some punchin' bloody red meat.
Rambo - Explicit, violent, alpha atrocities.
For the Traveling Troupe... "We went from Minnesota to Kansas City, then had a layover, then was delayed 2 hours because of snow. Ah! I just remembered, I forgot to close the garage door!"
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - Steve Martin. John Candy. There's a truck, a plane, a hotel, a pillow...
Dumb & Dumber - Stranded? A bus of beautiful people could stop and help. Redeemed.
Rat Race - An underrated comedic film of mass chaos.
For the Chef Boyardees...
Waitress - Tartly delicious.
Chocolat - Seductively delicious.
Sweeney Todd - bloody delicious.
For the College Cousin... "I'm in College now, let me have my freedom! But hey, here's my laundry."
American Pie - Be the cool, older cousin who hosts a secret screening in the basement.
Uncle Buck - A dish of John Candy is as sweet as they come.
Almost Famous - The older crowd will travel back to 1970s nostalgia, the younger kids will dig the dialogue, the college kid will totally relate to the characters, man. Oh and it's just good.
For the Vegetarian... Just Belittle those meat hungry fiends...
Chicken Little - A cute chicken
Stewart Little - A cute mouse
Bambi...er Little - Ok, I added "little", but this movie is the prime beef of sad.
For the (Big)Kids...
Pocahontas - this film does not depict true historical facts of any kind, but that is why Disney is a beautiful fairy tale company. Let's be real here, the last time I was approached by a raccoon, it wanted to have my arm for breakfast; not cuddle with me as I paddled down the river.
The Muppet Movie - Before you visit our friends in 2011, teach the younger viewing folk about shoulder pads and Bob Hope.
Star Wars - For the Jedi ways must continue from generation to generation, yes.
For the Lonely Cannoli...
11/24 amc - on rotation - all day
The Godfather
The Godfather, Part II
The Godfather, Part III - Not featured. Its absence is as disappointing as the burnt brussel sprouts.
