On the rare occasion, I received the Holy Grail of school lunches, a golden box of mechanically processed nourishment, a compartmental dish of amusements: A Lunchable.
I usually received this special box of awesome the day before a Grocery Outing when all the "healthy" items were gone.
The Holy Grail consisted of an abnormally small squared cheese, a kid-friendly wine cooler labeled "Capri Sun", a circle-shaped meat, generic Ritz Crackers, and pill poppin Skittles.
My last Lunchable occurred around 1998, when I fell victim to the perfectly Kraft-ed marketing scheme: Pizza Lunchables. I was expecting to unwrap a box of warm gooey pie but instead I unwrapped a cold marinara taco marketed as "pizza."
