REEL FILM TALK

A Thanksgiving Dish Best Served...

2011-11-21T09:19:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving, a day in which....

Every person has a different tradition for this Holiday. This year, some will pig out, some may toss the pigskin, some will take this as an opportune time to endorse pig rights by cooking a Tofurky, some will watch a favorite Pig in felt form (the Muppets are back!)

For a day that brings together family and friends, it can also bring stress, anger, and awkwardness. All the perfect ingredients for a feature film of the comedic fare. Oddly, Thanksgiving films have quite the limited inventory compared to a certain December occasion. The guy in the red suit is much more appealing than a doomed turkey.

Since your therapist will probably be unavailable on November 24th, I have compiled a list of films that may serve as a calming dish for your turkey festivities. Choose the dish that best fits your palate.

For the Son in Law... Remember, the 3 R's
The football game is over. You are on the couch with your father in law. It is awkward.
Rudy - It's Pretty Woman for dudes. A heartwarming story with emotional sentiment. Bro sniffles accepted.
Rocky - After a day of turkey, the Italian Stallion can serve up some punchin' bloody red meat.
Rambo - Explicit, violent, alpha atrocities.

For the Traveling Troupe... "We went from Minnesota to Kansas City, then had a layover, then was delayed 2 hours because of snow. Ah! I just remembered, I forgot to close the garage door!"
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - Steve Martin. John Candy. There's a truck, a plane, a hotel, a pillow...
Dumb & Dumber - Stranded? A bus of beautiful people could stop and help. Redeemed.
Rat Race - An underrated comedic film of mass chaos.

For the Chef Boyardees...
Waitress - Tartly delicious.
Chocolat - Seductively delicious.
Sweeney Todd - bloody delicious.

For the College Cousin... "I'm in College now, let me have my freedom! But hey, here's my laundry."
American Pie - Be the cool, older cousin who hosts a secret screening in the basement.
Uncle Buck - A dish of John Candy is as sweet as they come.
Almost Famous - The older crowd will travel back to 1970s nostalgia, the younger kids will dig the dialogue, the college kid will totally relate to the characters, man. Oh and it's just good.

For the Vegetarian... Just Belittle those meat hungry fiends...
Chicken Little - A cute chicken
Stewart Little - A cute mouse
Bambi...er Little - Ok, I added "little", but this movie is the prime beef of sad.

For the (Big)Kids...
Pocahontas - this film does not depict true historical facts of any kind, but that is why Disney is a beautiful fairy tale company. Let's be real here, the last time I was approached by a raccoon, it wanted to have my arm for breakfast; not cuddle with me as I paddled down the river.
The Muppet Movie - Before you visit our friends in 2011, teach the younger viewing folk about shoulder pads and Bob Hope.
Star Wars - For the Jedi ways must continue from generation to generation, yes.

For the Lonely Cannoli...
11/24 amc - on rotation - all day
The Godfather
The Godfather, Part II
The Godfather, Part III - Not featured. Its absence is as disappointing as the burnt brussel sprouts.

2011 Fall TV Formula: It's Simple Math

2011-10-19T16:51:00.002-05:00

Ladies put yo hands up... because this is our year!

The Average TV Target Audience:
Age: 18-49
Gender: Females and teenage males.

Simple Formula:
Hot Girls + Hot Girls in Relatable Funny Situations + A Dude(s) co star = Success!

And now... I give you my brightly buttered popcorn picks....

Up All Night - ABC

Put two comedic cult favs, Will Arnett (Arrested Development) and Christina Applegate (Samantha Who?) sprinkle some Maya Rudolph (Bridesmaids, SNL), add a baby as the comedic catalyst and wam! You've got a Modern Family for the coming of age folk.

The Playboy Club - NBC - RIP

Cancelled too soon. While ABC is trying to keep Pan Am in the air (ratings continue to reach subpar levels) NBC attempted to reopen Chicago's Playboy Club. It was fresh, it was edgy, it was Playboy. It was too much for network TV. Essentially, the series is a nostalgic noir- murder mystery. The bowtied bunnies are the faces that indirectly serve as the underlying crime mavens for the Chicago kingpins. Gone too soon. Hear my cries.... FX... AMC....

The Secret Circle - CW

In the most respectful terms, vampires suck the pop cultured airwaves, zombies found a place to roam on cable, and witches are brewing up the CW cauldron. I'm just waiting for a Frank N. Stein to come alive!

Ringer - CW

I must admit, I had a biased opinion prior to the series premiere. Buffy's Back!!!
After I relived my adolescent vampire slaying days prior to the Ringer premiere, I finished the episode in a state of, "hmmm." Maybe it was my mind revisiting the Dollhouse years (gone too soon..tear), or maybe it simply left me wanting more. The "hmmm" turned into a "ohhhh" the next week, followed by "whoaaa", a building storyline that has left me wanting "mooore."

2 Broke Girls - CBS

A sitcom about two twenty something girls struggling to survive in today's economic hardships. As a fellow twenty something girl, why on earth would I find this funny? The same reason why 19.2 million viewers watched the premiere... Please refer to 2011 Fall TV formula.

American Horror Story - FX Network

A terrifying realm of paranormal premises. Unlike the other airwave monster hits (True Blood, Walking Dead, Vampire Diaries, etc.) This demonic realm mainly focuses on a familiar, terrifying place. No, not the four walled dwelling... it terrorizes the subconscious.

Last Man Standing - ABC

Back to my nostalgic 90s... I love Tim the Tool Man Taylor (Home Improvement homage.) Although the series is still on its training wheels, I am quite delighted to see one of my childhood dads back in the primetime spotlight. The show is basically a millennial Tim Taylor raising three bo... no, girls! Let's just say the Taylor boys are all "growed up" and now have families of their own. If anything, watch the pilot, enter Toy Story easter egg... and beyond!

Ok... what am I missing?

----

Source: Nielsen Media Research data

Images: imdb.com

Z is for... Zoltar

2011-04-30T21:21:00.000-05:00

Zoltar, the fortune telling machine is the perfect way to end the "Adolescent April" series. This eerie, red eyed, plastic gypsy gained mainstream popularity when he granted little Josh Baskin a simple wish: to be big (or morph into Tom Hanks.) The 1988 Gary Marshall film, Big, is about the common youthful desire to grow up because adulthood is sweet bliss.

A sweet blister.

Have you ever heard a young, naive adolescent say, "When I grow up" or, "I wish I was older"? I certainly mumbled these phrases as a child while cleaning the dirty laundry or laying in bed at 9pm (lights out, no exceptions!)

I wish that cleaning my dirty laundry only pertained to the tangible, jeans and t shirt kind, not the metaphorical kind.

Also, now I can only wish upon a Zoltar for a 9pm bedtime...

Well, I'm a big kid now and I deal with big kid things. If I had a chance to take a re-dip into the fountain of youth, I would happily decline. I treasure my childhood experiences, I have my stories, and now I have an Adolescent April series.

Y is for... Yoda

2011-04-29T21:34:00.000-05:00

I shall be brief and give Yoda the platform...

"For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship."

Yoda...my little Buddha.

Namaste and may the force be with you.

X is for... Xander and the Scoobies

2011-04-28T21:48:00.001-05:00

"Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, biddie blah, I'm so stuffy give me a scone."

-Buffy (Inca Mummy Girl, Season 2)

Joss Whedon - The mastermind behind the brilliancy that is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The wonderful Whedon is my chosen one, my Watcher. He is responsible for my own nonsensical grammatical talky time that is delivered to the extended party for external musings. Coined by other Whedonites as "Buffy Speak" the language consists of the following linguistic rules: add "y" or "age" at the end of any word, apply pop culture references in daily conversation, and pepper the ironic situation with a pun, quip, or sarcastic undertone.

The dating criterion for any respectable Whedonite includes the following: be without a vascular pumpy blood thing, know how to make a mean stake, and talk pretty.

W is for... What's Her Face, The Ugly One!

2011-04-27T20:11:00.001-05:00

The web comic series Teen Girl Squad was my personal pioneer of viral viewing videos. I was a Sophomore in High School when I was introduced to the Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, and The Ugly One. I was using the school computer for "research" purposes when I suddenly heard ice cream truck music jingling from a nearby computer, followed by a cracked up Mr. Bill* squealing, "Teen Girl Squad!" I left my study station and found the origin of my curiosity. The images on the computer screen, the horror, the hilarity, the possums...

It's "Soooo Good!"

Click here to view the Teen Girl Squad comic series at the official website.

*The actual voice of the was provided by Strong Bad, the emperor of Homestarrunner.com which created the Teen Girl Squad series. Mr. Bill was a clay figurine featured on Saturday Night Live.

V is for... VHS

2011-04-26T19:35:00.000-05:00

Oh the wonderful VHS. An enlarged, rectangular cassette containing 800 feet of the finest visual tape for my entertaining pleasures. My VHS library, truly, I had a four-walled dwelling that was dedicated to these boxed cases of nostalgic remedies: The Wizard of Oz, Toy Story, pre-Vaulted Disney films (The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, The Jungle Book, Cinderella, etc), Home Alone, The Sandlot, Homeward Bound, The Sound of Music....

There was a time, sweet little iPeople, when we had to "be kind and rewind", use a "tracking" button, and hope that an evening away from the tube will end with a recorded Friends episode on the 8 hour blank tape preset earlier that afternoon.

U is for... Undercover Bears instant oatmeal

2011-04-25T18:16:00.000-05:00

Before Quaker Oats Dinosaur Eggs, there was General Mills Undercover Bears. This hot, delicious bowl of wonderment was part of my early development stages of youth. Each Undercover Bears instant oatmeal package contained maple flavored gummy bears, which were hidden with a special coating, and buried within the deep depths of dried oats. The bears would appear once a hot wave of water drenched the poor souls. It was awesome. It was delicious. It was awesomely delicious.

I continue to be a minnow swimming in the marketing shark tank. Although, I have been a Von Dutch victim, a Beanie Baby buyer, a purple ketchup kid, etc.. Undercover Bears was a product that was an essential part of my complete breakfast.

T is for... Tetris

2011-04-23T14:29:00.001-05:00

This week, Portal 2 was released to the brain hungry puzzled population. The Portal series is mind blowingly a-mazing (I couldn't resist) and filled with high calibered levels of complexity for the well equipped Geeks. I'm talking XBOX 360, PS3, PC, Mac equipped. Yea, it's Marty McFlyin out of my cellular capacity "heavy."

Although the Portal video games are quite complex, and supply a fantastical journey that dig deep into the inner nodes of my mental realm, there truly is no better cerebral satisfaction than watching a row vanish in level 35 of Tetris. It was the highest form of cerebral satisfaction, which heightened at level 36, 37, 38.....

I spent hours using my super stealthy thumbs on my 1989 authentic yellow screened Game Boy punching B - B - up - right - left, B-left, left - down, B B B!!

Goal: Achieve the ending that never was. Or was there? Has anyone ever completed Tetris? If so, I extend my carpal tunneled hand to you.

*I must admit, I do own all game consoles listed above. But then again, I am a well equipped Girl-Geek, a "Girk" if you will.

S is for... Slip 'n Slide

2011-04-22T19:33:00.000-05:00

This high end purchased tarp provided endless hours of summertime splashes and infinite knee gashes. The Wham-O Slip 'n Slide was the upper crust suburban solution to backyard fun. When the mommies wanted to congregate and conversate, the yellow runway supplemented the sugar infused children with a little backyard bath.

As I reflect upon these slippery summer days, I take a moment and smile. In some way or another, we all have scars from childhood: the schoolbus pecking order, the cafeteria social hierarchy, the playground politics, etc. However, the only adolescent scars that have transcended into my adult life are the ones located on my elbows and knees.

R is for... Rollerblades

2011-04-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

Today, kids can Gumby scoot around on sidewalks, school hallways, and grocery aisles using their everyday shoes, aka Heelys Skate Shoes.

Heelys Skate Shoes arrived in 2000 to a lot of happy children, and many upset adults. The obvious frustration for parents meant that armies of children will be rolling dangerously through the whimsical suburban streets of pandemonium. However, I think the adult angst is much more of a bitter resentment towards this awesome invention.

I assume the Heelys Skate Shoes inventor was well aware of the frustrating and tedious process of applying the former bootstrapped rollerblades. If I was to go wheeling to the local 7-11 for a cherry-cola Slurpee, which was a common element in my daily rolling regime, I had to bring an extra pair of shoes, which meant carrying a Jansport backpack; which then upon destination, change into my Adidas, go into the store, then perform a 10 minute reapplication Rollerblade session.

Kids, they have it so easy these days.

Q is for... Quailman

2011-04-20T15:59:00.001-05:00

Doug Funnie: A Fuddie Duddie by day.... a Tighty Wighty Knight by uh...right

The cartoon tv series Doug, was another masterpiece brought to you by the almighty 90s Nickelodeon. Doug was Phase 1 of the Cultured Hip Unit Regime, commonly referred to as "hipster" by the Generation Y social surrogate organization.

During college, there was always that one frat guy who donned the Quailman supersuit at the Halloween party. Word of advice to the currently enrolled student body and alumnae folk: The 2 dimensional Quailman, who resides in the Nickeldeon realm, is the only superego who may wear constricting undergarments. I do not need to see the fruit of your looms, dude.

P is for... Pogs

2011-04-19T14:51:00.001-05:00

A "pog" was a small cardboard chip which held absolutely no value whatsoever. Poggers purchased, yes, purchased these poker... er pog chips for bragging rights during playground pog conventions.

"Pogs" were simply an easy revenue tactic used by major corporations with the intention of training the adolescent mind to follow the "Greed is Good" American't creed. More means power.

I am bitter. "Pogs" took my allowance money.

O is for... Orange Soda

2011-04-18T09:54:00.000-05:00

Kenan: Who loves orange soda?

Kel: K-K-Kel loves orange soda.

Kenan: Is it true? Is it TRUUUUE?

Kel: MMMHHMMM! I do, I do, I do-oooh!*

I'm a born and raised midwestern child who refers to sugary flavored carbonated beverages as "pop." The exception: Orange Soda.

Once I realized orange mustaches weren't attractive to the opposite sex, I eliminated the delicious daily consumption of orange soda from my daily diet.

*Kenan & Kel Nickelodeon tv series (1996-2000)

N is for... Nick at Nite Block Party Summer

2011-04-16T19:20:00.001-05:00

Nick at Nite "Block Party Summer." Probably the best television programming concept ever to grace my adolescent pupils. Nick at Nite, the grandparent of Nickelodeon, is a late night supplement for the old kids. In the 1990s, it aired off-the-air fare from the 1940s through 1970s. Today, I can catch an episode of 1990s sitcom, Home Improvement..... Pause. I am not ready to call this an "oldie."

Dear Viacom execs: Can 90s fare at least join TeenNick for a couple of years before taking the full plunge into assisted living? For quarter-life crises sake!

Ok, back to the Party.

The "Block Party Summer" classic lineup:

"Mary Mondays" Mary Tyler Moore Show
"Lucy Tuesdays" I Love Lucy
"Bewitched Be-Wednesdays" Bewitched
"Jeannie Thursdays" I Dream of Jeannie
"Sgt. Joe Fridays" Dragnet

Oh, those sweet, senior citizen sitcom summer nights. A treasure, indeed.

M is for... MASH

2011-04-15T16:04:00.002-05:00

The Format:

Title paper "MASH" (Mansion - Apartment - Shack - House)
Categories:

Color
# Children
Car
Boy/Girl Crushes
Places
Career

List 5 items per category
Pick a number
Eliminate item based on number
The last remaining item per category will determine your future

MASH was an instrument used to determine the righteous path for the naive soul. When I grow up, will I be a Porsche-riding rockstar mom, carpooling my 20 children through the Italian streets of Rome, happily married to Devon Sawa? Well one of the listed came true... I did grow up.

*MASH is now available online. Formated in pixelated lined paper to tap into your childhood demons of neurotic past! If you would like to continue your journey into inadequate absolution, visit MASH online version

L is for... Lunchables

2011-04-14T15:12:00.000-05:00

On the rare occasion, I received the Holy Grail of school lunches, a golden box of mechanically processed nourishment, a compartmental dish of amusements: A Lunchable.

I usually received this special box of awesome the day before a Grocery Outing when all the "healthy" items were gone.

The Holy Grail consisted of an abnormally small squared cheese, a kid-friendly wine cooler labeled "Capri Sun", a circle-shaped meat, generic Ritz Crackers, and pill poppin Skittles.

My last Lunchable occurred around 1998, when I fell victim to the perfectly Kraft-ed marketing scheme: Pizza Lunchables. I was expecting to unwrap a box of warm gooey pie but instead I unwrapped a cold marinara taco marketed as "pizza."

K is for... Kongfrontation

2011-04-13T15:51:00.002-05:00

Kongfrontation, or commonly referred to as "the King Kong ride," was a ride at Universal Studios Florida theme park. I honestly didn't know its formal name until I googled "King Kong ride" and incidentally obtained more hits with the latter. It's the Baba O'Riley* of amusement park attractions.

Oh the mechanical nostalgia of the 90's: Jaws, Earthquake: The Big One, Back to the Future: The Ride, Terminator 2: 3-D Battle Across Time, E.T. Adventure (search "E.T." in my archives to read multiple entries pertaining to 20+ years of personal terror.)

I could have written another terrifying chapter in the E.T./Olivia Saga*, but I have decided to talk about my good pal, Kong. At first, our Kongfrontation looked like a continuation of the E.T./Olivia Saga.

As we weaved back and forth in the neverending line, I took one look at Kong on the promo video and said "No." My family wasn't too pleased since we had been playing follow the leader in line for 45 minutes. As the attendants began to funnel us into the box car, I performed an Olivia sit-in. I kung fu gripped the handle bar rail and wrapped my little adidas around the gate. I was not going into that boxed car of perpetual terror.

I was unhappy, my parents were unhappy, the fellow patrons were certainly unhappy but I undoubtedly did not care. At this time everyone is huddled in the claustrophobic car, except for me of course. It was time for an intervention. A Kong caretaker confronted my parents, a nod followed, my mom exited the box car, the doors shut, and the patrons were on their merry way into oblivion. I was safe! She gently held my hand and we left the premises with the Kong caretaker. After an immediate wave of relief had left my sweaty palms, I had an "Uh oh I'm in big trouble" moment. I'm going to get the "I'm banned from every Amusements Parks forever" pink slip. To my dismay, I was led to a room with multiple tv screens and an illuminated array of buttons. So many buttons.

I was led to THE control room. The Kong caretaker introduced me to the Kong "Controller", the man behind the Kong. I watched him control the big gorilla, er, gorillas throughout the ride. After one smooth run-through, it was my turn. I pushed the buttons, I moved the gorilla, I had the power... I was Queen of the Jungle.

*Baba O'Riley: Song performed by The Who - mistakenly referred to as "Teenage Wasteland"
*E.T./Olivia Saga: I'd rather have a tea party with Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhies, and Hannibal Lector then spend 5 seconds with E.T.

J is for... Jim Carrey

2011-04-12T15:47:00.001-05:00

My playground phrases: (Made famous by the almighty Bru... Jim Carrey)

Alrighty Then!

Hello, Cherie.

Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

We got no food, no jobs... our PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

The Claw!

Riddle me this

While other girls applied imaginary makeup, I would spend hours in front of the mirror practicing the vast muscular facial expressions showcased by the King of Facial Putty.

In the 1990s, Jim Carrey was filled with slap happy comedic fare. In the late 1990s, Carrey proved his talents stretched further than his facial expressions. Carrey graduated from Comedy College when he played Truman Burbank, an oblivious man imprisoned in a pre-constructed world, used for public entertainment in The Truman Show. He perfectly portrayed the late great comedian Andy Kaufman in biopic Man on the Moon. Then, the Jim Carrey Cash Carriage hit a Box Office Bomb: The Majestic. I believe every great actor needs to hit a box office bomb. Acting is the exploration of continued pursuits; I hold the highest respect to any actor who visits the unmarketable/unbankable realm (independent films, straight to dvd franchises, off broadway plays, etc.) I have a rule: In order to be a member of my "favorite" list, you must have a Box Office Bomb.

Then in 2003, Mr. Carrey met God (Bruce Almighty) absorbed the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and ultimately became a Yes Man.

As a child, Jim Carrey was one of my favorite comedians, today he is one of my favorite actors.

On that note, "Good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"

I is for... "I Want It That Way"

2011-04-11T17:09:00.001-05:00

"I Want It That Way" music video

Brian Littrell was my childhood fire, my one boy band desire.

Before the Beliebers, there were BSB-ers.

I've heard there was a time when MTV played full length music videos on air. I, however, was subjected to 1 minute snippets. MTV's Total Request Live, originally hosted by the current on air Late Late Uber Late Night Host Carson Daly, was a half hour program comprised of 10 music videos, chosen by tv viewers.

In simple terms, it was the "BSB, N Sync, 98° - Britney Aguilera with a Blink of Rock but still wanting Moore Hour."

BSB 4 Life.

*Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, 98°, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Blink 182, Kid Rock, Mandy Moore

H is for.... House & Home

2011-04-09T21:38:00.002-05:00

As I was brainstorming the material for letter "H", I realized that many of my favorite "H" items consisted of the word House and Home in the title. Alright Homies, let's get down to business....

Full House (tv series)
After a long hard day at the educational institution, the tv channel TBS was home to all my necessary after school special remedies. The lineup included 30 minutes of Uncle Jesse. Have Mercyyy

Little House on the Prairie (tv series)
Not only was TBS my after school remedy, it was my medicinal remedy. This syndicated show aired during the morning weekedays. If I was home sick, I'd enjoy a morning at the Prairie.

Man of the House (feature film)
As Chevy was edging over the celebrity cliff, JTT was peaking atop the hot-ster volcano. My oh my, times sure do change in the pop cultured "community"...

Home Improvement (tv series)
Tim the Tool Man Taylor! Still in syndication (TBS, of course) Still awesome.

Home Alone(s) (feature films)
"You guys give up? Or are ya thirsty for more?" - "This is my house. I have to defend it" - "Buzz, your girlfriend, woof!"
Kevin McCallister: The hero, the legend. Future offspring will know thy name.

Smart House (tv feature film)
Disney Channel original movies provided once a month entertainment. These tv movies were filled with the finest cheese found in Disney's innovation station. Disney sures knows how to pick'em. In this film, a tech-savy dwelling controls everything inside its domain, including the humans! Flash forward to 2011: I can't recognize a human Face because Smart Phones are all a Twitter!

America's Funniest Home Videos (tv series)
A G-Rated Jackass for the family. It continues to reign the primetime ABC tv network airwaves, however 90s host Bob Saget was the "Funniest" of them all.

G is for.... Gumby

2011-04-08T21:35:00.001-05:00

Before pixel animated imagery, there was a ball clay.

As the story goes..
He was once a little green slab of clay. Gumby!
You should see what Gumby can do today. Gumby!
He can walk into any book, with his pony pal Pokey, too.
If you've got a heart then Gumby's a part of you.

The late great Art Clokey (1921-2010), was the brilliant claymator behind Gumbyverse. Clokey introduced the world to Stop motion clay animation, which has paved a nice pixar path for today's computer animated technology.

Like a growing child, Gumby went through the adolescent changes. As a little Gumby, he was a red eyed mute, then he hit awkward phase and obtained black eyes and a syntehsized voice. Once awkward phase was complete, he grew into a shiny saturated re-reded eyed mold of clay.

His adventures were sublime. He slide around in invisible skate shoes around book world and visited various stories. Then Batman met his Robin: Pokey the pony. Years later the clay clique grew; we met a dino named Prickle and a goo named uh, Goo.*

Let's not forget the deviant duo, "The Blockheads." The muted mischievous mongrels were always trying to sabotage Gumby & Co. If the Blockheads were instead given the name Smart Squares, perhaps they would know that the unaware opponent always wins! Ignorance is bliss.

*After further investigative research, Goo was apparently a blue mermaid. Interesting.

F is for... Fido Dido

2011-04-07T10:59:00.000-05:00

“Fido is for Fido, Fido is against no one”

(fidodido.com)

Fido Dido put the "dude" in doodle. A 2D figure that loved the simple things, slurping on Slice soda and 7 Up. He was a cultural phenomenon, brought to life by a woman doodling on a napkin at lunch.

His story, his origin, his legacy, is the International Dream.

E is for... the Elephant Show

2011-04-06T14:20:00.001-05:00

"The Journey Begins: OD-ing on Ovaltine" Opening Credits

Sharon, Lois, and Bram's Elephant Show was another Nickelodeon gem. I'm telling you, Nickelodeon was the essential canon for any legitimate child worth my recess time. These may be strong words, but these Dora kids have no idea what they are missing!

I haven't watched the opening or closing credits since I was about 9 years old, and I sit here utterly perplexed. Sharon, Lois, and Bram's Elephant Show was the Yellow Submarine for the adolescent mind.

"Coming Off the Cocoa Puffs" Closing Credits

D is for... Double Dare

2011-04-05T11:03:00.000-05:00

It's safe to say that the majority of today's game shows are comprised of one thematic premise: monetary gain.
- Deal or No Deal - Who Wants to be a Millionaire? - The Price is Right
- Wheel of Fortune - Cash Cab

The family-fun fare in our 80s & 90s game shows have sadly disappeared. Where did they go? Nickelodeon was a wonderful hub for family fun game show programming - including one of my many favorites, Double Dare
Now, let me be clear that the majority of the 90s game shows did have a financial gain premise, but it was hidden beneath green slime and pie throwing fun. Double Dare was one of those totally awesome shows.

Hosted by Marc Summers, each episode contained a red team and blue team sportin' the sweetest new Reebok kicks available on the market (subliminal marketing at its finest.) Each team compiled of four family members who "dared" opposing teams to 20-30 second challenges which usually consisted of filling a bucket with slime or some other questionable fluid. Whichever team accumulated the most points would enter the Obstacle Challenge. This part of the program was as thrilling as waiting in class for the sweet sounds of the recess bell to ring. The team had to complete the course in 60 seconds, all the while obtaining those dang flags that were scattered across the treacherous course. It was an edge of your seat thrill ride.

Nickelodeon Studios: I "Double Dare" you to bring back the family fun game shows!

C is for... Chicago Bulls

2011-04-04T17:35:00.002-05:00

"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the main event. Now, the starting lineup for your CHICAGO BULLS!"

I am proud to say that I am a Chicago, IL native. As a child living in 1990s Chicago, I was fortunate enough to frequently visit the United Center and watch the great 1990s Dynasty Team: the Chicago Bulls. At the naive age of (insert any adolescent age) years old I didn't realize I was attending historical canons that will reign as the greatest years of basketball.

At the time, I attended the games simply to enjoy the first 20 minutes before l tip off. I didn't necessarily care that I was watching the greatest core team to ever grace NBA history.

The grand spectacle for my little pupils was not Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Luc Longley, Steve Kerr, Toni Kukoc, or even Dennis Rodman (although "guess Rodman's hair color" prior to the game was always a fun car ride game.)

The Chicago Bulls Grand Spectacle Show was my main event. A Super Pretzel in hand, I anxiously waited as the lights dimmed, which cued the "Bulls Theme" song, followed by an eclectic light show across the stadium, proceeded by a pre-show Benny the Bull segment on the main monitor. Once Benny completed his run through the Chicago streets, he enters the the almighty United Center.

Enter the starting lineup, for your Chicago Bulls...

For the record... Go Bulls 2011!

B is for... Berenstain Bears and other favorite books

2011-04-02T14:55:00.001-05:00

As a child, I television was not permitted in my bedroom. Which was probably a good thing; otherwise I never would have enjoyed the following...
(Many of the books included are one of many in a given collection. The examples shown are my notable favorites.)

Reading Rainbow
My television time consisted of mindlessly awesome programs such as ... well you'll have to wait for those gems to be revealed. I devoted reading time to the "no-tv allowed" bedroom zone. The only reason why I watched this literary children's program was because it aired before Arthur. Which leads me to...

Arthur
Sweet anteater Arthur. He was a literary icon, and a cartoon superstar (see above.) A future hipster.

Amelia Bedelia
Honestly, I have no idea why I enjoyed this half-witted maid. I remember reading each story and getting quite frustrated with her irrational behavior. Then I read the end and realized everything can be fixed with baked goods.

The Berenstain Bears
One of the few literary collections that I enjoyed in both literal and pictorial form. Each story was relatable, a la the "Messy Room" (shown.)

Strega Nona
My Italian Roots printed and bound in this cultural masterpiece. Strega Nona has transferred into my post-adolescent life notably because her name is awesome. Anytime I want to sound like I know Italian, I exclaim, "Strega Nona!"
Works every time.

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
This book changed me. I will never set a mouse trap for an innocent long tailed critter. Let him have a cookie!

Love You Forever
I never fully understood why my mother would always cry after reading this to me. Then I read it as a 23 year old woman and solved that mystery.

Goosebumps
As a child, I was was terrified of the horror genre. No object was safe. Anything that could potentially have a horrific undertone was not permitted in my safe little mental haven (although E.T. and Beetlejuice did like to come out and play. The horror, the horror!) R.L. Stine helped harden my weak shell into the vampire drinkin', Saw bladin', serial killin', fan I am today. (No I'm am not Dexter Morgan or Hannibal Lector II... I enjoy the fictitious kind.)

Golden Sight and Sound Books

The publishers/authors had great intentions, "Let's make reading fun by integrating new innovative technology." Reality: I skipped the written text and focused all my brain power on the buttons.

The Jolly Postman
Another interactive innovation. However these publishers/authors were well versed in the "ooo pretty buttons" epidemic and decided to integrate the interactive pieces as written catalysts to the story.

A is for.... Adolescence

2011-04-01T09:33:00.000-05:00

I give you my A to Z theme: Adolescence

This April, I will reflect upon my Adolescence and classify pop culture notables that molded me into the cultured infused 24 year old kid I am today.

It's time to reset the Casio watch, and Return to Innocence

I'll "B" back

APRIL: A to Z Blogging Challenge

2011-03-30T20:58:00.002-05:00

It's a new dawn, a new day, a new month!

I feel like being ambitious (not my "A" for the record) and have decided to enter the A to Z Blogging Challenge.

For the month of April, every day (excluding Sundays) will represent a letter in the alphabet. A to Z.

Although optional, my A to Z blog entries will be based on a particular theme.

To be unveiled April 1, 2011.

See you in the 'morrow, Fool.

The Academy Awards Category 'Cheat Sheet'

2011-02-26T16:04:00.001-06:00

The majority enjoy the Academy Awards for the main categories: Best Actress, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Picture.

Wait, what about the category for Best Film Editing?
Sound Editing?
There's a difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing?

To help prepare for the big night, I give you....

-The Academy Awards Category Cheat Sheet-

Art Direction

Awarded to: Production Designer

Working in conjunction with the director, designs the sets, picking out their colors and deciding on their materials and overall look. The film architect. The set design will unconsciously provide the approporiate feeling or mood of the story.

Cinematography

Awarded to: Director of Photography (also known as Cinematographer)

An individual charged with the job of interpreting the director’s point of view into a visual form. The DP designs lighting, frames shots, and oversees the subordinate lighting and electrical staffs of the film.

Directing (Seriously. The role of the Director is commonly misinterpreted)

Awarded to: Director

Individual responsible for interpreting the original work of the writer, for promoting his own styles of lighting, sound, and camera work, of sets, costumes and music, into a symphony of experiences that will enrich and enhance the story. The director may or may not have been involved with the written script.

Film Editing

Awarded to: Film Editor

Individual responsible for taking the director’s vision and sequencing the filmed footage into a constructed and organized feature length film. Referred to as the final formulation of the story’s structure that will be visually presented to the viewing audience.

Sound Editing

Awarded to: Sound Editor

A task performed in Post-Production, when the Sound Editor reshapes the sound to conform to the emotional needs of each scene.

Sound Mixing

Awarded to: Sound Mixer

The individual is head of the on-location sound recording team, which includes the boom operator and third man.

Visual Effects

Awarded to: Visual Effects Supervisor, additional Visual Effects dept crew members

Integrates live action footage with post-production, computer-generated imagery. Includes Computer Generated technology, stop motion, special effects; elements later added in post-production.

The Academy of Motion Picture and Sciences:

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is the world’s preeminent movie-related organization, with a membership of more than 6,000 of the most accomplished men and women working in cinema. Notably known for its annual Oscar telecast. The Academy derives the majority of its revenue from the licensing of broadcast rights to the annual Academy Awards presentation.

Sources:

Taub, Eric. Gaffers, Grips, and Best Boys. New York: St. Martin's, 1994. Print.

Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. www.oscars.org

I vote for...

2011-02-20T22:32:00.001-06:00

In celebration of President's Day, I have gathered a couple of folks who I think would make excellent candidates for the Election of 2012...
(TV series, 2000-2011 edition)

Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)

Campaign Slogan: "Rich fifty is middle class thirty-eight."
Platform: "Never go with a hippie to a second location."
Go-To Remark: The Three B's: beers, boats, and buds.
Endorsed by: Dr. Leo Spaceman

Denny Crane (Boston Legal)

Campaign Slogan: "Denny Crane"
Platform: "First rule of thumb in practicing law: Always, always promise the client millions and millions of dollars. It's good business."
Go-To Remark: "Denny Crane"
Endorsed by: Denny Crane

Liz Lemon (30 Rock)

Campaign Slogan: "I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to."
Platform: “Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.”
Go-To Remark: "That's a Dealbreaker"
Endorser: Jedi Party

Richard Fish (Ally McBeal)

Campaign Slogan: Fishism
Platform: "Helping others is never more rewarding than when it's in your own self interest."
Go-To Remark: "Bygones"
Endorsed by: Boston Tea Party

Jack Bauer (24)

Campaign Slogan: Trust Me
Platform: "Listen to me!"
Go-To Remark: "There's no time"
Endorsed by: The United States Government (covert operations-classified)

Ling Woo (Ally McBeal)

Campaign Slogan: "This is an office place, people shouldn't be happy."
Platform: "At some point we have to face the certain reality: despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping."
Go-To Remark: Growl (insert sound bite)
Endorsed by: The Ling Woo Mud Wrestling Bar & Club

George Oscar "Gob" Bluth, Jr.

Campaign Slogan: "It's called taking advantage. It's what gets you ahead in life."
Platform: "I will not take this sacred duty lightly. I am going to get you the single healthiest call girl that this town has ever seen."
Go-To Remark: "I've made a huge tiny mistake."
Endorsed by: The Magician's Alliance

Dennis Reynolds

Campaign Slogan: "You're born into class. It's about pedigree. It's about upbringing. It has nothing to do with your present circumstance."
Platform: "Hello, fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot..." What? "Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, Philadelphia, so do."
Go-To Remark: "I'd like some welfare please."
Endorsed by: Paddy's Pub

Sue Sylvester

Campaign Slogan: "What you call insanity, I call inspiration."
Platform: " I just prefer to think of the homeless as outdoorsy. So shine on urban campers!"
Go-To Remark: "Do you not understand the blackmail process and how it works?"
Endorsed by: the fearful citizens of the Ohio valley

*The following list of tv characters is strictly for entertainment value. Except for maybe, Jack Bauer.

Raise your glass... The Anthems of 2010

2010-12-31T15:10:00.006-06:00

As I soundly reflect upon the year 2010, I did not contract Bieber Fever, but instead found Passion for a certain lesser known. The planets aligned when a man named Mars sang a sweet song, while Cee-Lo supplied the words for any suitable battle.

Note: Roughly 90% of the listed are from 2010, with a few exceptions. Sometimes my head transcends to the past...

2010 Song Anthems:

New Years Eve Anthem: "Neon Lights" - Natasha Bedingfield

Needs to Stay in 2010 Anthem: "Hey, Soul Sister" - Train

TV Series Theme: The Walking Dead – Bear McCreary

TV Ad Anthem – "Home" - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros (Ford Fiesta spot)

Movie Score (TIE): Book of Eli – Atticus Ross & Black Swan – Clint Mansell

Movie Soundtrack Pick: "Cobrastyle" – Performed by Teddy Bears– Date Night

Party Anthem: "I Like It" – Enrique Iglesias (feat. Pitbull)

Just Do It Anthem: "Marchin On" – OneRepublic

Smart Phone Ringtone Anthem: "Telephone" – Lady GaGa & Beyoncé

Defines Current Economy Anthem: "The Persuaded" – Faded Paper Figures

Back to School Anthem: "A to G" - Blackalicious

Holiday Stress Buster Anthem: "Coming Home" – Diddy, Dirty Money & T.I.

Winter Anthem: "Christmas Lights" - Coldplay

Spring Anthem: "Daisy Cutter" – 311

Summer Anthem: "Airplanes" – B.O.B (feat. Hayley Williams)

Fall Anthem: "Thieves in the Night" – Hot Chip

Mourning a Loss Anthem – "All of Creation" - MercyMe

20-something Anthem: "Kings and Queens" – 30 Seconds to Mars

Night Life Anthem: "Night Life" – Scissor Sisters

I Love America Anthem – "Empire State of Mind" – Jay-Z

International Anthem –The Beatles (iTunes arrival)

Angst Anthem – "F**k You" – Cee Lo Green

Late Night Discovery Anthem – "Father’s Son" - Fistful of Mercy- (performed on Conan )

The Mainstream Crooner: Bruno Mars (track of choice: "Somewhere in Brooklyn")

Girl Power Anthem: "Indestructible" - Robyn

Man Power Anthem: "Power" – Kanye West

Shoulda Woulda Anthem: "Just a Dream" – Nelly

Start Anew Anthem: "A Beautiful Day" – India.Arie

The Gem of 2010 - "Little Secrets" - Passion Pit

Hidden TV Gems of 2010

2010-12-27T21:55:00.001-06:00

2010- The year of *Boardwalk Gangstas and Jersey Guidos, Hungry Zombies and Bloody Gorgeous Vampires, oh, and that half hour contemporary Family sitcom...

The above references deserve the credit and notable recognition in "The Best of TV: 2010" - However...

The following listed are a personal compilation of underdog, yet wonderful television programs that I enjoy(ed).

Note: Some of the listed items have been cancelled, and therefore exponentially deserve recognition for wrongful termination. It is ok friends, Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks, and Dollhouse, are doing just fine in the afterlife (thank you home entertainment systems.)

Hidden TV Gems of 2010

How to Make it in America - HBO

1/2 hour single camera day in the life of a 20 something trying to find his way in NYC. Fun, yet personal. As a 20 something kid trying to make it in.. hmm life? I find the 2 main characters very relatable and much more realistic than another certain HBO show who is making it in a certain Hollytown.

Life Unexpected - CW - canned

Herein lies a show that has been canned. One of the CW's finest, and I mean that in the most genuine way possible. For a network with a reputation for being somewhat one dimensional, this show filled the other 2 sides of an otherwise flat network. Perhaps my praise roots from childhood nostalgia: alums Shiri Appleby (Roswell), Kerr Smith (Dawson's Creek), and Emma Caulfield (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) reunite under one show. Due to its cancellation, now we'll never know if Jessica Biel would walk through the door!

Fringe - Fox

Slowly gaining recognition. Slowly...

Haven - SyFy

If you like Fringe, Haven is a nice mystery sci fi substitute when the former is on leave for summer vacation. Based on Stephen King's "The Colorado Kid"

Undercover Boss - CBS

It's fun. Everyone can relate to it. Those who can't identify, should/could be featured on show. It displays the missing heart that is void from cross network rival The Apprentice.

Better Off Ted - ABC - canned

The ginger sister to The Office and 30 Rock. The paternal twin to Arrested Development. It was funny, it was dry, it was on ABC. It's Better suited for TBS. The show's potential audience is laughing away on cable with the ginger king of comedy, Conan O'Brien.

Mercy - NBC - canned

Yes, it was another "medical drama" on network tv, but it was the only "medical drama" to focus on the personal and emotional struggles for a female Iraqi war veteran, returning home to quasi-normal life. Now, I know the popular kids at Seattle Grace recruited a Iraqi war veteran as well, but Mercy's thematic premise ultimately focused on the female character's pre and post combat stress. Each episode directly or indirectly focused on her struggles in everyday life including work, family, and self.

Cougar Town - ABC

It better stay around. It is not about hungry Cougars in search of tasty meat - no four legged nor two legged felines of any kind. The Freaks and Geeks fans will enjoy a familiar face - Busy Phillips, who I believe to be the comedic gem of the series.

The Talk - CBS

If you enjoy a talk program which requires minimal use of the "mute" button, this is a nice supplement that pleasantly compliments afternoon tea time.

*Items listed include: Boardwalk Empire, Jersey Shore, The Walking Dead, The Vampire Diaries, Modern Family

Terrifying scenes in Non-Horror films

2010-10-24T19:07:00.003-05:00

No Genre is safe. The following scenes terrified me as an adolescent child; actually they still do.

E.T.: the Extra-Terrestrial

The cornfield scene, the forest scene, the garage scene, the river scene. No, I take that back - The entire film is freakin horrifying.

Uncle Buck

Buck is a proud owner of a machete, which he conveniently stores in his trusty vigilante vehicle. "Have you ever heard of a ritual killing? Hehehehe"

Knocked Up

-- Delivery scene --

As a female, I will speak on behalf of my Y Chromosome populous: That shit ain’t funny. The only crown I want to see is located on the shelves of my liquor store.

Now and Then

Young adolescent females visit the town freak for a Tarot reading (played perfectly by Janeane Garofalo) and the cards reveal disturbing images. Scare bonus film character: Wiladene (Garofalo)

The Sound of Music

Some of my favorite Friends agree, The Sound of Music is a terrifying film. The majority of the population will agree: living during in the 1930s & 40s Nazi reign was absolutely horrifying. Although, the film has another hidden horror which is derived in one single frame: “You are 16 Going on 17” Gazebo Scene. Rolf kisses Liesl goodbye. Thunder and Lightning strikes. Enter Scary Liesl face and a scourching “Weeeeeeeee” to follow.

( referenced in Friends episode The One with the Ick Factor - 1995 )

The Wizard of Oz

Those flying monkeys, those damn flying monkeys...

Every Single Disney Film

Kids morphing into jackasses (literally), a mom bruttally murdered by a shotgun, a dad falling into a stampede (dying instantly), Alligators trying to eat people … By the age of 10, I graduated to Pulp Fiction.

Get Him to the Greek

Michael Meyers? Jason Voorhies? Please. Those guys should take a trip to Disney World. Jeffrey is the scariest bloke to compromise the human race. Kids, don’t do drugs.

Batman

I debated whether to include the Burton film, notably because it will naturally contain gothic undertones. However, the film’s dark theme, feels less Sweeney and more Comic Booky. Therefore, the terrifying Joker green goo transformation scene has earned a spot on the list. That hand...

Mean Girls

Regina George (Rachel McAdams) is the antagonist and sweet Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) is the film's protagonist (Quite ironic in real-life retrospect.) Anyway, although Miss George is a "biatch", the bus scene was a morbid disaster. Cady, keep your thoughts to yourself and not on the screen.

Finding Nemo

Bruce: Big, scary teeth.

The Sandlot

"The Tale of The Beast" - Still gives me the heebie jeebies.

Big

Never will I ever wish upon a Zoltar.

Hello My name is Olivia. I am a 20 something woman, and I am still terrified of E.T.

Is This Halloween?

2010-10-13T21:17:00.000-05:00

It's Fall. It's October. It's Halloween. This Is Halloween... but wait, What's This? Merry Halloween?

My brain is confused.

Why do the words Santa and Satan have to look eerily similar? Why are Christmas trees displayed at Costco? Why was Dollhouse cancelled? (Ok the last question has nothing to do with this post, but needed to be stated.)

And Now... The Ultimate Question:

Why does a certain animated feature film have the words, "Nightmare" and "Christmas" in the title? When am I suppose to watch this film, Halloween or Christmas?

Yes, I am referring to Tim Burton's "A Nightmare Before Christmas"

The music, the characters, the brilliant CGI animation make this an imaginative dream, er, brilliant nightmare. It's been 17 years since we were introduced to beloved Jack Skellington, and the story remains iconic. I see socket eyed Jack on skater bois (sharpie tattoos/ real ink), bumper stickers, Hot Topic merchandise (Jack's Mothership), patches, etc.....

Whether it's July 4th, or October 31st, if Jack's smiling back at me, I can't help but stretch a wide, stitchy grin.

But still. I can't identify the emotion I feel when I watch this film. Notably because the emotion varies according to the current season. A couple of days ago, I watched the film, and I am perplexed.

I can merely describe my mental state as this: A complete Oxymoron. Dancing and singing dead things have lifted me into the Christmas Spirit!

I'm going to Costco.

Due to the Summer Heat, I've opted to "tweet"

2010-07-28T19:53:00.003-05:00

My lack of posts simply means this..

Good things to come.

No, but really. Got some real gems getting a nice polish. Get ready to be dazzled.

If you need a quick fix of blog musings, follow me on Twitter: @oliviagiachino

..and for tweeps who are reading this post because of my latest tweet, even though I forewarned you, I do appreciate the extra click you took to venture to my blog. Therefore, an entertaining photo has been added.

"You don't have a son."

2010-06-02T21:38:00.001-05:00

....and you are?

Have you joined Jack into the light? Or, are you sitting next to Ben, reflecting on the night?

The questions keep on rolling. Many people have mentioned the confusion regarding Jack's "son", David - featured in the sideways flashbacks. Initially, the line "he is not your son," had me saying Whaaaat? So who is this kid? Is he dead? What is that all about?

After further geeking and investigating my answer to this little 180 degree zinger is this:

David is not real, he was simply a catalyst in Jack's dimension. David was needed in order to bring all the Losties together, to find one another. Every person who was not a Lostie, but did in fact appear in Jack's universe, were simply catalysts. This would also include the nurse who assisted Jack in Locke's operation.

Remember, Christian Shepherd told Jack: : I'm real, you're real. Everything that has ever happened to you is real. All the people in the church, they're all real too.

All the people in the church, they're all real too.

His statement is directed towards the people located inside the church, David is not in the church. David is not real. Why would Christian specify the church scenario if it was not important? The other beings present in the Flash-Sideways, but did not appear in the Flashbacks, Flashforwards, or on the Island, are therefore, catalysts. Although he is not in the church, Ben is in fact, real, because he is featured in Jack's other dimensions.

The End.

For now.....

FOUND

2010-05-24T17:59:00.014-05:00

Lost Season 6 Promo

It has been 23 hours since viewing the Series Finale of LOST: "The End" (yes I am that nerdy, subtle geekism dually noted)....

I had a Revelation: I successfully decrypted the entire premise of one of the most captivating and mysterious anthology series ever to grace television.

6 seasons of mystery, suspense, and formulaic brilliance. Like the show, which continuously dealt with opposing forces, it is quite appropriate that the Lost fanbase is currently 2 sided regarding the series finale.

The Social Media Smoke Monster is quite active.

Feedback Samplings currently taking over my Facebook/Twitter/Forum feeds:

"am i thick if I don't totally understand it all??"
"after sleeping on it, I've come to the conclusion that the finale wasn't terrible and I'm liking it more and more as I think about it."
LOST wrote a check their ass couldn't cash.
LOST could have ended that way 5 seasons ago
Such an amazing and emotional ending to a truly great show.
I'm still mad about how stupid that lost ending was. Grrrrrr.
Their lives were not complete and they were LOST souls. In the end, it turns out they needed each other to find their places in the world. Havent figured out if I like the ending yet...
LOST: 6 years leading up to nothing.
My first reaction to the #Lost finale: Beautifully, magical, and just as close to perfect as I needed. Well done!
Why did I find that so affecting, when really I should be saying WHAT!

This may disappoint a few fans, others who suffer ADD will appreciate the words displayed below. Basically, 6 years of complexities can actually be simplified into a couple of bullet points.

Here it is....

The entire series is Jack Shepherd's story: his journey through the afterlife and ultimately finding his heaven.

In the Lost Pilot, the first screen capture is Jack Shepherd's eye. It opens, and we, the audience become the eye. Essentially, the point of view the audience experiences in from Jack.

The Island = Jack's purgatory.

Reasons:

Dad revealed in pilot episode
Coffin carrying father on flight
Series begins with Jack's eye opening

Jack Shephard's 2 Demons:

Daddy issues
Jack is a doctor, therefore a man of science. One major theme in the show was: Science vs. Faith. There are numerous instances in which Jack constantly struggled with redemption, faith, hope.

Sideways Flashbacks:

Phase 2 of purgatory: The encounters and revelations

The Building

It is a Christian building - I will omit the term, "church", because I cannot provide enough evidence to properly label it as one (implied due to the sculptures of Saints, pews, stained glass windows, etc.)
Jack found faith, peace, closure.
The Building represents the final meeting place for Jack's personal heaven. He found closure: He confronted his two struggles: He embraced faith and found peace with his father, Christian Shephard.

Ok, to answer a few potential questions that will surely follow after reading the above..

Why is this solely Jack's personal Afterlife? What about the other Losties?

Because we can only be certain that Jack would want those particular people in that building.
The numerous religions represented amongst the Losties:

Islam, Buddhism, Taoism, New Age Sprituality (Astrology, Spiritual Healing)

Due to information we have uncovered from character flashbacks, we cannot assume that these characters would have decided to spend his or her afterlife with the person represented in The Building. The relationships displayed in The Building are constructed by Jack. Jack only arranges what he believes would be every character's afterlife (Although Jack does not know the extensive past of every person on the island - which he clearly states to Kate in season 1 when she begins to explain her fugitive past.)

Sayid & Shannon - What about Nadia?
Locke does not have a companion, where is his fiance?

Essentially a spin off series could emerge. Yes, gasp, spinoff. Or, a Season 7 The only way the execs could successfully pull off an additional season is if it is marketed as a "Bonus Season," better yet, add special episodes to the LOST Entire Series Collection Set. If it is titled, "Season 7," There will be a lot of Black Smoke....

The Pilot Episode and the Series Finale were mirror reflections of one another. To visually represent the "mirrored" effect please view screen caps below:

Pilot Finale

Closure

Should it stay or should it go?

2010-05-13T22:28:00.000-05:00

I am EXTREMELY happy with the current results.

My favorite new shows that entered the pool in the 2009-2010 will continue to swim. While those dirty Scrubs will finally head to the dumpster.

The Cougar is still prowling and the Hood is safe, it's my own Modern fairy tale.
I do ask this... and only this, "NBC powers that be, please have Mercy."

List compiled by Michael Ausiello - Entertainment Weekly

ABCThe Bachelor: A sure thing.
Better Off Ted: A long shot. Officially canceled.
Brothers & Sisters: A sure thing.
Castle: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
Cougar Town: Already renewed.
Dancing with the Stars: A sure thing.
The Deep End: A long shot.
Desperate Housewives: A sure thing.
FlashForward: Could go either way. Now a long shot. Officially canceled.
The Forgotten: A long shot.
Grey’s Anatomy: A sure thing.
Hank: Already canceled.
Lost: Series finale airs May 23.
The Middle: Already renewed
Modern Family: Already renewed
Private Practice: A sure thing.
Romantically Challenged: Officially canceled.
Scrubs: A long shot. Officially canceled.
Ugly Betty: Already canceled. Series finale aired April 14.
V: Could go either way. Officially renewed.
CBS
Accidentally on Purpose: Could go either way.
The Amazing Race: Already renewed.
The Big Bang Theory: Already renewed.
Cold Case: A long shot.
Criminal Minds: A sure thing.
CSI: A sure thing.
CSI: Miami: A sure thing.
CSI: NY: A safe bet.
Gary Unmarried: A safe bet.
Ghost Whisperer: A safe bet.
The Good Wife: Already renewed.
How I Met Your Mother: Already renewed
Medium: Could go either way
The Mentalist: A sure thing.
NCIS: A sure thing
NCIS: Los Angeles: Already renewed.
New Adventures of Old Christine: Could go either way.
Numb3rs: A long shot.
Rules of Engagement: Could go either way.
Survivor: Already renewed.
Three Rivers: Already canceled.
Two and a Half Men: Already renewed.
FOX
24: Could go either way. A long shot. Now officially canceled.
Brothers: A long shot.
American Dad: Already renewed.
American Idol: A sure thing.
Bones: Already renewed.
The Cleveland Show: Already renewed.
Dollhouse: Already canceled.
Family Guy: Already renewed.
Fringe: A safe bet. Officially renewed.
Glee: Already renewed.
House: A sure thing.
Human Target: Could go either way. Unofficially renewed.
Lie to Me: A safe bet. Unofficially renewed.
Past Life: A long shot. Officially canceled.
The Simpsons: Already renewed.
‘Til Death: Could go either way. Officially canceled.
NBC
30 Rock: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
The Biggest Loser: A sure thing.
Celebrity Apprentice: A safe bet.
Chuck: A safe bet. Could go either way. Back to being a safe bet. Officially renewed.
Community: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
Friday Night Lights: Already renewed for fifth and final season.
Heroes: Could go either way.
Law & Order: A sure thing.
Law & Order: SVU: A sure thing.
Mercy: Could go either way.
The Office: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
Parenthood: A safe bet. Officially renewed.
Parks and Recreation: Officially renewed
Trauma: A long shot.
THE CW
90210: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
America’s Next Top Model: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
Gossip Girl: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
Life Unexpected: Could go either way.
Melrose Place: A long shot.
One Tree Hill: Could go either way.
Smallville: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
Supernatural: A sure thing. Officially renewed.
The Vampire Diaries: A sure thing. Officially renewed.

Join Fellow "Passengers" on an Emotional Ride

2010-04-27T22:54:00.001-05:00

Anne Hathaway and Patrick Wilson in Passengers

Credits:
Anne Hathaway, Patrick Wilson, Dianne West, David Morse

Rolling:
A grief counselor works with a group of plane crash survivors.

..and Action: THE REVIEW
I predicted the story's main theme early in the film, but the characters and ongoing actions maintained my interest. It's an emotional journey. Anne Hathaway's acting is superb, but the supporting cast also deserves equal recognition.

Essentially, the film's main theme is only one element to the story. Get ready to have questions.

Cut:
6/10 stars

That's A Wrap:
If you enjoy Lost, take a ride with the Passengers

Oscar Night 2010: My Predictions ... and The Winners.. and The Thoughts That Surfaced

2010-03-07T17:06:00.044-06:00

The actual Academy Award Ceremony is ok. Yea I know, tisk tisk "What?! You do not fully engage in the most celebrated Hollywood Event of the year?!" No, No I do not.

Reason? Let me count the ways...
Here's my newest to the list: Zombieland... where are you?

Anyway, I do however enjoy many things that lead up to the event. And no, I am not talking about the gowns, the glamour, and the steroid size Oscar statues parading the red carpet.

The attraction of tonight's festivities will be focused on Two People....
..and no I'm not referring to a "King" of another world, or his ex-Bigelow

I'm talking about the hosts: Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin.
The Denny Crane and Alan Shore. The Ed McMahon and Johnny Carson. The Cheech and Chong.

Oh it's gonna be good.

On with the Predictions....

Red marks Win Prediction

***THOUGHTS FROM LAST NIGHT***
(Updated Mon, March 8, 2010)

I was looking forward to the Martin-Baldwin collaboration. Was extremely disappointed... except for the Paranormal Activity bit.
The only dazzle from NPH's performance came from his glitzy ensemble.

Best Dressed: Robert Downey Jr.
Worst Face Dressed: Sandra, last night was not Gracie Lou Freebush's night, a bit heavy on the makeup...

John Hughes Tribute: Fantastic
In Memoriam Tribute: Not Fantastic... Bea Arthur and Farrah Fawcett absent.. what?
Horror Film Tribute: Why was Twilight included?

Worst Acceptance Speech: Sandy Powell (Costume Design)
Best Acceptance Speech: Kathryn Bigelow (Director & Best Picture)- ... Continuously thanked the women (yep she said women first) and men who serve in our US military.... wonderful!

CONCLUSION: Crazy, but, the 82nd Academy Award Ceremony will be remembered for the actual winners from the evening, not the other charades that usually make the morning headlines.

Leading Actor

Jeff Bridges in "Crazy Heart" - WINNER

George Clooney in "Up in the Air"

Colin Firth in "A Single Man"

Morgan Freeman in "Invictus"

Jeremy Renner in "The Hurt Locker"

Supporting Actor

Matt Damon in "Invictus"

Woody Harrelson in "The Messenger"

Christopher Plummer in "The Last Station"

Stanley Tucci in "The Lovely Bones"

Christoph Waltz in "Inglorious Basterds" - WINNER

Leading Actress

Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side” - WINNER

Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”

Carey Mulligan in “An Education”

Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia”

Supporting Actress

Penélope Cruz in “Nine”

Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”

Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”

Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”

Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” - WINNER

Animated Feature

Coraline

Fantastic Mr. Fox

The Princess and the Frog

The Secret of Kells

Up - WINNER

Art Direction

Avatar - WINNER

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Nine

Sherlock Holmes

The Young Victoria

Cinematography

Avatar - WINNER

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The Hurt Locker

Inglorious Basterds

The White Ribbon

Costume Design

Bright Star

Coco before Chanel

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnasus

Nine

The Young Victoria - WINNER

Directing

Avatar

The Hurt Locker - WINNER

Inglourious Basterds

Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire

Up in the Air

Documentary Feature

Burma VJ

The Cove - WINNER

Food, Inc.

The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers

Which Way Home

Documentary Short

China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province

The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner

The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant

Music by Prudence - WINNER

Rabbit à la Berlin

Film Editing

Avatar

District 9

The Hurt Locker - WINNER

Inglorious Basterds

Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire

Foreign Language Film

Ajami

El Secreto de Sus Ojos

The Milk of Sorrow

Un Prophète

The White Ribbon - WINNER

Makeup

Il Divo

Star Trek - WINNER

The Young Victoria

Original Score

Avatar

Fantastic Mr. Fox

The Hurt Locker

Sherlock Holmes

Up - WINNER

Original Song

"Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog”

“Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog”

“Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36”

“Take It All” from “Nine”

“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart” - WINNER

Short Film - Animated

French Roast

Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty

The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)

Logorama - WINNER

A Matter of Loaf and Death

Short Film - Live Action

The Door

Instead of Abracadabra

Kavi

Miracle Fish

The New Tenants - WINNER

Sound Editing

Avatar

The Hurt Locker - WINNER

Inglourious Basterds

Star Trek

Sound Mixing

Avatar

The Hurt Locker - WINNER

Inglourious Basterds

Star Trek

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Visual Effects

Avatar - WINNER

District 9

Star Trek

Screenplay - Adapted

District 9

An Education

In the Loop

Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire - WINNER

Up in the Air

Screenplay - Original

The Hurt Locker - WINNER

Inglourious Basterds

The Messenger

A Serious Man

Best Picture

Avatar - WINNER

The Blind Side

District 9

An Education

The Hurt Locker

Inglourious Basterds

Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire

A Serious Man

Up in the Air

This Valentine's Day: The Foxx or the Wolf?

2010-02-11T20:52:00.002-06:00

Benicio Del Toro as The Wolfman

Jamie Foxx in Valentine's Day

This weekend, two romantic films are delighting the big screen... The Wolfman and Valentine's Day

And to all you readers who are throwing their bon bons in the air and screaming "Wolfman isn't a Valentine's Day movie?!"

Oh yes, yes it is.

Benicio Del Toro....
Emily Blunt....
Beastly encounters
Yum

Ok, my prediction is that 65% of the male population will be forced to see the the obvious film between the two.

The Wolfman.
Duh.
Just Kidding.

Valentine's Day will bring home the gooey Dark Chocolate this weekend.

My question is, why didn't this movie hit theaters last Friday?
My Prediction: Because the movie in fact, Sucks.
But, I am 90% certain that Valentine's would have held the #1 spot for 2 weeks leading into Cupid Day.
Even though the movie sucks.

I guarantee that next weekend, those Valentine roses will be dead.

Don't get me wrong. I WILL see Valentine's Day because damnit I love the song, "I've Got a Feeling" (smart movie trailer music choice) that I always hear during the commercial break between Oprah and The View. Then, I see Taylor Lautner grace the screen; and for a second I forget about the other "Beast" that will be competing in the Box Office.

Then i think of Benicio.
and then love comes rushing back to me.

This Valentine's Day, I'm spending it with the Wolf

And the 2010 Oscar Nominees go to...

2010-02-02T09:29:00.000-06:00

Stay tuned for my "take" on the batch...

Source: IMDB.com

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Avatar (2009): James Cameron, Jon Landau

The Blind Side (2009): Nominees to be determined

District 9 (2009): Peter Jackson, Carolynne Cunningham

An Education (2009): Finola Dwyer, Amanda Posey

The Hurt Locker (2008): Nominees to be determined

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Lawrence Bender

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009): Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness, Gary Magness

A Serious Man (2009): Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Up (2009): Jonas Rivera

Up in the Air (2009/I): Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman, Jason Reitman

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart (2009)

George Clooney for Up in the Air (2009/I)

Colin Firth for A Single Man (2009)

Morgan Freeman for Invictus (2009)

Jeremy Renner for The Hurt Locker (2008)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side (2009)

Helen Mirren for The Last Station (2009)

Carey Mulligan for An Education (2009)

Gabourey Sidibe for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Meryl Streep for Julie & Julia (2009)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Matt Damon for Invictus (2009)

Woody Harrelson for The Messenger (2009/I)

Christopher Plummer for The Last Station (2009)

Stanley Tucci for The Lovely Bones (2009)

Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Penélope Cruz for Nine (2009)

Vera Farmiga for Up in the Air (2009/I)

Maggie Gyllenhaal for Crazy Heart (2009)

Anna Kendrick for Up in the Air (2009/I)

Mo'Nique for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Best Achievement in Directing

Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker (2008)

James Cameron for Avatar (2009)

Lee Daniels for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

Jason Reitman for Up in the Air (2009/I)

Quentin Tarantino for Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

The Hurt Locker (2008): Mark Boal

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Quentin Tarantino

The Messenger (2009/I): Alessandro Camon, Oren Moverman

A Serious Man (2009): Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Up (2009): Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Thomas McCarthy

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

District 9 (2009): Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell

An Education (2009): Nick Hornby

In the Loop (2009): Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009): Geoffrey Fletcher

Up in the Air (2009/I): Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner

Best Achievement in Cinematography

Avatar (2009): Mauro Fiore

Das weisse Band - Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte (2009): Christian Berger

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009): Bruno Delbonnel

The Hurt Locker (2008): Barry Ackroyd

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Robert Richardson

Best Achievement in Editing

Avatar (2009): Stephen E. Rivkin, John Refoua, James Cameron

District 9 (2009): Julian Clarke

The Hurt Locker (2008): Bob Murawski, Chris Innis

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Sally Menke

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009): Joe Klotz

Best Achievement in Art Direction

Avatar (2009): Rick Carter, Robert Stromberg, Kim Sinclair

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009): David Warren, Anastasia Masaro, Caroline Smith

Nine (2009): John Myhre, Gordon Sim

Sherlock Holmes (2009): Sarah Greenwood, Katie Spencer

The Young Victoria (2009): Patrice Vermette, Maggie Gray

Best Achievement in Costume Design

Bright Star (2009): Janet Patterson

Coco avant Chanel (2009): Catherine Leterrier

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009): Monique Prudhomme

Nine (2009): Colleen Atwood

The Young Victoria (2009): Sandy Powell

Best Achievement in Makeup

Il divo (2008): Aldo Signoretti, Vittorio Sodano

Star Trek (2009): Barney Burman, Mindy Hall, Joel Harlow

The Young Victoria (2009): John Henry Gordon, Jenny Shircore

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

Avatar (2009): James Horner

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009): Alexandre Desplat

The Hurt Locker (2008): Marco Beltrami, Buck Sanders

Sherlock Holmes (2009): Hans Zimmer

Up (2009): Michael Giacchino

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

Crazy Heart (2009): T-Bone Burnett, Ryan Bingham("The Weary Kind")

Faubourg 36 (2008): Reinhardt Wagner, Frank Thomas("Loin de Paname")

Nine (2009): Maury Yeston("Take It All")

The Princess and the Frog (2009): Randy Newman("Down in New Orleans")

The Princess and the Frog (2009): Randy Newman("Almost There")

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing

Avatar (2009): Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson, Tony Johnson

The Hurt Locker (2008): Paul N.J. Ottosson, Ray Beckett

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti, Mark Ulano

Star Trek (2009): Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson, Peter J. Devlin

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009): Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Geoffrey Patterson

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

Avatar (2009): Christopher Boyes, Gwendolyn Yates Whittle

The Hurt Locker (2008): Paul N.J. Ottosson

Inglourious Basterds (2009): Wylie Stateman

Star Trek (2009): Mark P. Stoeckinger, Alan Rankin

Up (2009): Michael Silvers, Tom Myers

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

Avatar (2009): Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham, Andy Jones

District 9 (2009): Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros, Matt Aitken

Star Trek (2009): Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh, Burt Dalton

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

Coraline (2009): Henry Selick

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009): Wes Anderson

The Princess and the Frog (2009): John Musker, Ron Clements

The Secret of Kells (2009): Tomm Moore

Up (2009): Pete Docter

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

Ajami (2009)(Israel)

Das weisse Band - Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte (2009)(Germany)

El secreto de sus ojos (2009)(Argentina)

Un prophète (2009)(France)

La teta asustada (2009)(Peru)

Best Documentary, Features

Burma VJ: Reporter i et lukket land (2008): Anders Østergaard, Lise Lense-Møller

The Cove (2009): Nominees to be determined

Food, Inc. (2008): Robert Kenner, Elise Pearlstein

The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers (2009): Judith Ehrlich, Rick Goldsmith

Which Way Home (2009): Rebecca Cammisa

Best Documentary, Short Subjects

China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province (2009) (TV): Jon Alpert, Matthew O'Neill

The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner (2009): Daniel Junge, Henry Ansbacher

The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant (2009) (TV): Steven Bognar, Julia Reichert

Królik po berlinsku (2009): Bartosz Konopka, Anna Wydra

Music by Prudence (2010): Roger Ross Williams, Elinor Burkett

Best Short Film, Animated

French Roast (2008): Fabrice Joubert

Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty (2008): Nicky Phelan, Darragh O'Connell

La dama y la muerte (2009): Javier Recio Gracia

Logorama (2009): Nicolas Schmerkin

Wallace and Gromit in 'A Matter of Loaf and Death' (2008) (TV): Nick Park

Best Short Film, Live Action

The Door (2008): Juanita Wilson, James Flynn

Istället för abrakadabra (2008): Patrik Eklund, Mathias Fjällström

Kavi (2009): Gregg Helvey

Miracle Fish (2009): Luke Doolan, Drew Bailey

The New Tenants (2009): Joachim Back, Tivi Magnusson

100 Cheesiest Movie Quotes of All Time

2010-01-24T17:41:00.001-06:00

Interpret the title however you wish...

Now I interpret "cheesiest" as some of the best quotes ever to grace the cinema. Simply because, cheese is good. It shouldn't be, (because ultimately it is comprised of mold); ... but it most definitely is.

So, although some of the quotes within this video montage are really bad, 90% are pure cheddar.

Some of my favs that made "cut" (favs as in a decadently delicious.)
The only quote featured that seems out of place is the "Cast Away" reference. This isn't a good quote. It's just sad. No fermented cheese for Tom.

"Sack of wine!"
"I have come here to chew bubblegum, and kick ass." - A legendary quote.
"Ya, well I'm taller."
"You know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else."
"Are you a Mexican...or a Mexi-can't?"
"Stop eating my sesame cake!"
"It's a pressure valve, it won't open unless there's tremendous pressure."